Capable

A conversation with Nicoletta Arps

Camino de Santiago guide, entrepreneur

How a first Camino, a move to Porto and a life that didn’t unfold as planned helped Nicoletta Arps discover how capable she really is—and how much less she needs to feel at home.

“I’m willing to trust myself more. I think I’ve shown myself in the last years how capable I am.” 

Watch the Conversation

About this conversation

Nicoletta never imagined herself living abroad.

She had spent the first 40 years of her life in the same German city. She had a husband she loved, a dog, a house in the suburbs, friends and a successful career as a web developer.

Then she burned out.

Looking for some way to mark the end of that chapter, Nicoletta decided to walk the Camino de Santiago. This was an unlikely choice. She wasn’t a hiker. She wasn’t particularly sporty. She describes herself as a city girl. She had never traveled alone.

And she was struggling with anxiety.

She came to Porto to begin the Camino and remembers sitting in her hotel wondering what she had gotten herself into. But over the next two weeks, something important happened.

Nicoletta discovered what she was capable of.

She had flown to another country by herself. She walked 280 kilometers without even pre-booking where she would sleep each night. And when anxiety told her that she couldn’t handle something, she suddenly had evidence that perhaps she could. 

That first Camino eventually changed more than Nicoletta expected.

Years later, after the sudden death of their dog, Nicoletta and her husband found themselves standing in the suburban house they had built their life around and asking a surprisingly simple question: Is this really how we want to spend the next 40 years?

Their answer was no.

Six months after spending a month exploring life in Porto, they sold their things and moved to Portugal. 

But moving wasn’t the end of Nicoletta’s story.

Her experience on the Camino eventually became her work. She left web development behind and built a business helping other people—many of them anxious about making the journey alone—experience the same transformation she had. She describes watching people arrive frightened and uncertain and, days later, telling her they’re ready to continue to Santiago de Compostela without her.

And then the life she had brought with her to Portugal changed again.

Shortly after the move, Nicoletta and her husband of 20 years separated.

Suddenly, the woman who had once believed she needed a house, a husband and a carefully constructed sense of stability found herself creating a life without them.

What she discovered was that she needed less than she thought.

A good home. People she can trust. People who make her feel loved.

And, increasingly, herself.  

It’s a conversation about anxiety, risk, meaningful work and the unexpected ways our lives can change.

But mostly, it’s about discovering that sometimes the thing that gives us the confidence to take the next step is simply realizing how many steps we’ve already taken.

In this conversation we explore

How burnout led Nicoletta to walk her first Camino

What walking 280 kilometers alone taught her about herself

Why the Camino became a way of reconnecting with herself

The question that made Nicoletta reconsider the life she had built in Germany

Why returning to Porto already felt like coming home

Turning a transformative personal experience into meaningful work

Helping anxious travelers discover their own capability

Finding friendship and belonging in your 40s

What happens when the life you planned changes unexpectedly

Letting go of old ideas about security and stability

Why taking risks also means discovering you can survive when they don’t work out

Learning to trust yourself

Memorable moments

“I think what I learned on my first Camino is how capable I am.” 

“Camino always answers questions, but not necessarily the one that you asked before you left.” 

“Is this really how we want to spend the last 40 years of our lives?” 

“Coming back to Porto already felt like home.” 

“I’m supporting people in becoming a new version of themselves.” 

“When you make a job out of your hobby, you lose the hobby.” 

“You just have to take risks to win and… you will survive if you sometimes lose.”  

“I’m willing to trust myself more.” 

Reflection

There’s an interesting difference between feeling confident and knowing you’re capable.

Nicoletta’s story is full of moments when she wasn’t particularly confident.

She arrived in Porto alone and overwhelmed.

She began her first Camino with anxiety and almost no idea what she was getting herself into.

Years later, she moved to another country without knowing exactly how the life she had built in Germany would translate.

And then, after arriving in Portugal, one of the most important parts of that life—her marriage of 20 years—ended.

Nicoletta didn’t eliminate uncertainty before moving forward.

She accumulated evidence that she could handle it.

The first piece of evidence was the Camino.

She walked 280 kilometers by herself. She figured out where to sleep. She managed her anxiety. She kept going.

Years later, when she needed reminding of what she could do, she would return to the Camino.

But eventually life gave her a much bigger version of the same lesson.

She moved countries. Changed careers. Built a business around work she finds meaningful. Made new friends. Lost a relationship that had been part of her life for two decades. And discovered that many of the things she once associated with security weren’t actually requirements for a good life.

Near the end of our conversation, Nicoletta reduces what she needs to something surprisingly simple:

A good home.

People she trusts.

People who make her feel loved.

“That’s actually all I need to be happy.” 

Perhaps designing a life isn’t always about deciding exactly what the future should look like.

Sometimes it is about creating enough experiences to learn something more fundamental:

Whatever happens next, I can probably figure it out.

Nicoletta describes moving to Portugal as a time when it felt as though everything had fallen apart.

Looking back, she sees it differently.

“You can’t just transfer a life from one country to another,” she says. “Moving to a new country is not meant to keep everything like it was.” 

Some things came with her.

Some things didn’t.

And somewhere in the process, Nicoletta discovered that the most important source of stability might not be the life she had constructed around herself.

It might be the person she had become capable of being within it.

A question to consider

What have you already done that could remind you what you’re capable of?ˆ